It did take about 10 years to become a team let’s say, to understand each other and really I live my life for her and her for me. The greatest thing is I never fear her cheating or doing anything to hurt me it’s one thing everyone has in the back of their mind, not me tho. There’s a lot to making a relationship work but only a few key actions that ensures the other peace of mind they have your heart and mind.
Someone get the damb shovel it’s gona get deep.
The only thing my wife and I argue about is money. It might seemingly start about something else, but it always boils down to money. My parents are like this, and so are my wife's both sets of parents. My grandparents. Her grandparents. Her parents could never agree on money so they got divorced and her mom remarried and she still can't come to terms with money. It seems that everyone else that has been successfully married for any period of time only seem to argue about money.
I like durable goods. I will gladly spend money on material things, especially if it is something I can sell if/when I'm done with it or need the money... for a reasonable price relative to the amount of fun or utility it provides. I do believe material goods do depreciate relative to their fun. My experience that the floor for fun is about $15/hour. Something like a dirtbike is actually stupid cheap fun.
My wife likes "experiences". She will gladly spend money on food or a vacation or an event.
I have no problem buying her a set of stupid expensive earrings that cost more than our jet boat. We can sell either of them and get most of our money back if we're done with them and they have provided reasonable utility/fun. Those giant diamonds stuck in her ears get her lots of compliments and it's difficult to beat zipping around a lake in a jet boat. The jet boat was a bad investment, for sure.
We went to a Tony Bennett concert at Moneykeepers a while back and all in we spent like $800 for 3 hours. The only things I remember is that his daughter sings awful and the room was full of qtips except one other couple. Last year we went to Hawaii and it cost us at least $15k. All I remember was nearly dying in the ocean (I float like an anvil and swim like a quadriplegic), melting the turbo on a brand new Malibu, triggering the Service 4wd on a Jeep Trailchicken, feral chickens were fun to watch, and Pina Coladas in coconuts are affordable. In another few years I'll only remember nearly dying in an ocean and the feral chickens.
So my wife will argue with me about spending money at Menards and I will argue with her about going to some crappy restaurant in Ann Arbor. So chances are we're always going to argue but I think we have come to terms with it.
Set up a savings/spending plan so that you know where you stand. Then you shouldn't have to argue, for instance, after you saved enough for retirement each month and paid bills, say you have $500 left, you each get $250 to do whatever you want with. If she agrees to the plan, how can she argue?
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